“For every ending there is a new beginning.”~Unknown

Today was the end of my sweet Scruffy boy’s time on this earth. It means I have a beginning of a life without my little shadow and sweet companion.

My heart is in thousands of pieces. I don’t know how to go on without him. There have been so many hard, sad things and losses he has gotten me through. During my time of chronic illness and pain, he has been my therapy dog and kept me such wonderful company.

If I could have taken away his pain and kept him here forever, I would. I hope and pray that his 16 years with me were happy and loving for him.

There will be an emptiness without him that nothing will fill and hurt that time will not heal. My only comfort in this is knowing he is no longer suffering and in pain.  Because of him (and my other animals), as well as friends, family, and God, I have been able to endure some painful things. My sweet little Scruffy, know that you were loved greatly and will be missed more than anything! Mommy loves you, always and forever!

Here is his story:

One evening, 16 years ago, I was walking through our local mall and was drawn to the pet store (Scamps) there. This cute little fluff ball was in the window. It was incredible how much he looked like my Mushy girl that I had lost in March.  This was now June, 1999. Not intending to bring him home, I admired his cuteness through the glass and went on my way.

The next evening, my 10 year old stepson and I were in the same mall, walking past the same pet store.  I told him that he needed to see this adorable little boy. We asked the girl if we could see him. The next thing I knew, we were in the “get acquainted room” where we played with this little puppy for a few moments. I wanted to bring him home, but just couldn’t decide for sure. When the clerk told us the store was closing and this was the last day the animals would still be in Bend, that in the morning they would be shipped to their Eugene store, about a two hour drive away, I had to decide whether he would become a new addition to our family.  With Caleb’s added desire to bring this puppy home, the decision was made! Scruffy came home with us then and there. I couldn’t find his exact date of birth but it was between the middle and 25th of May, 1999.  His first, 8 week vet check up was July 24, 1999, so I’m guessing his date of birth is the end of May.

This little boy has become my constant companion and shadow, especially since April 2010, when I lost my Border Collie, Leia.  After she died, I invested my attention and energy into Scruffy. I am so glad I did because wherever I was, he wanted to be. He would follow me around the house, whether it was to the bathroom, kitchen, downstairs, or outside, he had to find me and watched over me until I sat back down, then he would lie down close by. If I was out of his sight, he had to find me. He didn’t know any tricks or mind very well, he wasn’t beautiful, but was cute as could be. He tried so hard to be obedient, even though he flunked out of class when he was a puppy. He was loyal and faithful.

When I raised baby chicks, had a bunny, cat or chinchilla, he always wanted to play with them.  His favorite game was stepping on them with his front paw.  Playing in the pasture with the sheep and fallow deer was also something he really enjoyed.  When visitors came to see me, Scruffy placed himself between us as if to say “this is my mom, don’t come any closer.”

About two years ago, I found out he had malignant tumors in his front right leg. The vet suggested putting him down that day. I told him, “NO”, because Scruffy still had so much energy and life. Arthritis in both his back legs became so bad that he was no longer able to walk without showing the pain. Every night as we snuggled on the bed, for prayer time, I would thank the Lord for another day that Scruffy’s precious life blessed mine.

I prayed that he would live a happy, healthy, long life and have minimal pain.  But most of all, I prayed that he had a very happy and great life with me. Until just this past few days, he didn’t show that he was hurting too much, and continued trying to do his normal activities. My little boy was so very brave until the very end, which came this afternoon, at the vet clinic with compassionate people around us. My mom took us to the clinic and was with us for his passing.

I often wonder if dogs have memories.  If they do, I hope Scruffy’s are sweet.

Let Sammy & Family end with this.  Cindy `that was such a moving story on so many levels.  All of us from around the world have you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.  Sometimes saying goodbye is the only loving move left to make.  We know Scruffy has been struggling pretty bad the past year as we have written about, Scruffy suffers no longer. Rest in Peace little soldier.  You made the world a better place.  Sammy & Family and friends will never forget you.

No lives will go in vain, no pain will go unnoticed.  Amen. Dr. Harp Seal for Sammy & Family.